Testimonies

It was my 18th birthday and we were at a club in the city. Two of my guy friends were kicked out the club for vaping so I went outside to talk to them. I was very drunk and as we were sitting there talking one of boys said to me that I needed a birthday kiss and he grabbed me and started kissing me. I was very shocked and didn't know what to do. He then told me I had to get with the other guy (who was my best friend) and the second guy then pulled me in and started getting with me. The first guy then grabbed me again and kept kissing me while touching my butt and breasts. We were around the corner of the club in an alley and no one else was around.

I was 15 years old at a party in 2019. I got extremely drunk to the point where i blacked out and don't remember what happened that night from around 8pm - 1am. I remember waking up in the morning and being told that i was unconscious on the floor for half the night and that i had sex with an older boy.. i had no recollection of this. I remember waking up in my friends bed around 1:30am and an another boy (now graduated) came into the room and lay down next to me and then held me down and started kissing me. I asked him to get off of me about 7 times but he persisted and kept saying 'please can we just have sex' he only got off of me when one of his friends came into the room and asked what he was doing.

When I was 18, I met a guy at a dance and we spent the night dancing and having a few drinks. He was with a bunch of other guys. At the end of the dance, I indicated that I had to go home and joined the taxi line. It was a very long line and the line was hardly moving and I had already waited 30 minutes. As I stood in the line, the guy pulled up driving a panel van and it seemed he was the only one in the car. He offered me a lift, and at first I refused but he insisted and said I am going right past your place. I got in the car and as I put my seat belt on I noticed that his friends were in the back of the van. It made me nervous and as I tried to open the door he sped down the road. He pulled into a local park and tried to kiss me. I told him I wanted to go home and I was uncomfortable. He continued trying to kiss me and I heard my door open and found another guy standing at my side with his pants down and he roughly pulled my head to his groin area. I tried to push him away but the driver held one of my arms back. With my other hand I tried to stop the guy pushing my head down and was crying loudly for him to stop. It seemed like an eternity as I continued sobbing and trying to fight him off. I heard another guy say, she doesn't want it you should stop but the other guy continued. I broke my arm free from the driver and used it to push the guy as hard as I can who then staggered backwards. The guy that had said stop it, exited the back of the van and stood between me and the guy I pushed off. He said to me , move over . I was shaking and scared but I heard a difference in his voice and I moved over. He put himself between me and the guy and told him to leave me alone and get in the back. The guy got in the back of the van. The guy sitting next to me told the driver to start the car and take me home. They pulled up near my house and I remember trying to wipe my makeup clean as I knew my parents would see something was wrong. As I left the car, I heard the guy in the passenger seat yelling at the guy in the back. He said he wanted no part of what was going on , that he had sisters and would you want someone to do that to your sister. After they drove off I entered my house and did not tell anyone what happened. I have never told anyone what happened. I can still remember their faces to this day.

One night our guy groups and our group had a party. I got very drunk and ended up going to our friends house with some people after, when I arrived everyone was watching a movie and pretty sober however I was not. This guy kissed me and then told everyone he was taking me back to his. No one objected and stop him or said anything like no she's to drunk. They let me get taken backed to his. I remember walking up stairs and the next thing I remember was being held against glass in the shower getting touched, naked. He then moved me to the bed. I was weak and vulnerable and I just froze. I wasn't able to say anything. He pinned me arms down and began to have sex with me. I couldn't move so I just closed my eyes and waited for it to be over. The next day I got messages from multiple people saying how could you do that you are a slut. This boy was a girls in my groups ex and he had gotten with her that night so everyone thought that I was in the wrong but I was to scared to tell anyone what he did to me and after getting so many messages I started to believe that it was my fault. I lost many friends over this and people will always see me as that girl yet this guy got away with it.

I was 13 at a friend's party. I had been drinking but I wasn't drunk because my grandma was picking me up at 11. My boyfriends friends were at the party aged around 14/15. One of them I didn't know very well followed me into the bathroom and pinned me up against the wall with the towel rack banged so hard up against my spine and started hooking up with me. It was dark because I didn't know where the lights where in the bathroom. I freaked out and pushed him off in so much pain in my back and my lip because he kissed me so aggressively and bit me hard. I tasted blood. He grabbed my arms and pulled me onto my Knees and he sat on the toilet lid (closed) with his pants and undies pulled down. He tried to push my head down. I'm so lucky that a group of girls started opening the door so he put his pants back on and walked out as if he was proud and hiding something like as if we had been in there doing stuff. I only knew a few people at the party and didn't know what to do. My grandma picked me up 10 minutes late and she told me I had lipstick smeared on me and it was blood from my lip. She scolded me for kissing a boy. My boyfriend broke up with me and told everyone at his school that I was a whore who cheated on him with his friend.

I remember when i was just 13-14 this boy (same year) was my first bf - I was pressured into kissing and being touched (in public places too) and I didn't know that I could say no. It really affected my self worth and my mental health.

I had a boyfriend in year 8. He would always pressure me to perform oral sex on him or let him do it to me and after a while i stopped saying no, i always felt off about it but i thought it was normal because he was my boyfriend. The night i lost my virginity to him (after a lot of pressuring) his friends ran into the room and i was so embarrassed he was just on top of me laughing. He would refuse to wear condoms and never payed for emergency contraception. I only realised when talking to my older cousin how manipulative he was and how wrong i was being treated. Boys need to be educated.

I was 16, I went to X. He went to X. I was very drunk and vulnerable and he forced me to take more drugs. He took my clothes off me and took my phone. He forced himself on me for hours doing sexual things to me while I repeatedly said no over and over again but he still didn't listen. I found out later he had done similar things to others

I was 17 (2018). He was from X. I was unconscious at a party and drunk. He raped me and I woke up during it happening, not knowing what had happened. Still to this day he doesn't see what he did wrong.

I've had instances with both X and X boys in my year (2021) which have occurred during relationships (where it's assumed consent still implies) - sadly this is not the case and I was often coerced sexually when I expressed desire not to. This ranges from being taken to public parks and forced to perform sexual activities to just general aggressiveness or being put down when I refused.

I was in grade 9, my boyfriend and I were mucking around. I told him no, the underwear stays on, and he fingered me anyway. I literally could not have been any clearer. When I told my friends the situation a few years later they all said "its because he was young, he hadn't been taught consent yet". It needs to be taught earlier.

I went out for drinks with a group of 'friends', one of them spiked my drink and then offered to take me home to safety. He then sexually assaulted me.

Last year I was dating a boy who was a year older than me, he didn't grow up in the east but attended an all boys school. One night I was at a friends birthday and we had planned that I was going to go back to his house after. I arrived at his house extremely intoxicated, he was sober. I remember thinking I'm too drunk to have sex. I woke up in the morning and I was completely naked, I looked to the side of the bed and saw all my clothes on the floor. I was still confused as to whether we had sex or not but I didn't ask him (I think I was scared the answer was yes). I left his house later that morning, the following few days I started to remember bits and pieces and realised that we had had sex. I felt sick about it and following that I broke up with him because the thought of having sex with him turned me off so much.

I was raped twice in my high school years, by boys from private boys schools. The first time by a boy I liked who pressured and bullied me and raped me after I'd said no repeatedly and was silent and numb. The second time involved me being so drunk I couldn't tell what was happening, until I realised it wasn't my boyfriend in the bed with me, but his friends. Neither time did I realise this was rape. Both times I blamed myself completely for being stupid enough to get myself into the situation. I didn't tell anyone until I was 35, because that was when I finally understood that what was happened was rape.

We were 16 at the time and good friends, with him being in the 2017 class at X. We were at a another friends place and ended up sleeping in the same bed, which had happened before and he was someone I felt safe with. Completely platonic and always had been. I was asleep, and I woke up to him spooning me and grinding on me, I could feel that his pants were down and he was half naked, with his erection sticking into my behind. I continued to pretend I was asleep, just to avoid the awkwardness. Until I could feel him reaching for my pyjama shorts, as if to pull them down. I immediately rolled over to face him 'in my sleep', only just avoiding a worst case scenario. I could feel him scurry to pull up his pants and he too rolled over, facing away. We never spoke of it, I always acted like I had no clue it happened and was truly asleep.