Consent: You're probably already doing it everyday

Usually when we hear the word consent, our minds jump straight to sexual situations. While that’s important, it's far from the whole story. It's not even the third chapter.

Learning how to actively practice consent in all kinds of interactions and relationships— not just sexual or romantic — is one of the most compassionate things you can do for yourself and those around you. It builds trust, respect, and stronger relationships by showing you value other people’s boundaries — and your own. 

What is everyday consent? 

You’re probably practising consent in everyday interactions without even realising it.

Say you’ve got a party coming up, but nothing to wear. You know your mate has a top that would make your whole fit. So, you ask them to borrow it — but they say no. You accept it and go back to the drawing board. 

That’s consent! You asked a question, they said no, you respected their decision and you’re still friends at the end of the day. Consent shows up everywhere — in friendships, families, classrooms, workplaces, even online; and often way before we encounter it in a sexual or intimate context. 

99% of the time, every day consent is the simple stuff. But it’s also often overlooked. 

When it is, it can lead to people feeling disrespected, exposed, or even unsafe.That’s why even small actions — like asking if someone would like a hug, or whether they’re okay with you posting a pic of them on your socials, can help build a culture of consent. Asking first shows care, and makes you a far better friend, family member, or partner.  

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How do we actually practise consent every day? 

Let's start with one of the most common places consent shows up: our bodies, and our personal space.

Physical consent & personal space

You hear people talk about consent in romantic and intimate situations a lot, but it's just as important in casual, everyday situations as well. It means not assuming you can touch someone, or handle their belongings, no matter how well you know them.

People’s comfort levels when it comes to different kinds of physical touch can also be dependent on their backgrounds, culture, and personal history. In some cultures, it’s inappropriate for a man or a woman to touch each other if they aren’t family or married.

For someone who’s been subjected to assault or violence, small things — like asking before a hug or whether you can adjust their clothes — can matter even more. It ensures they can feel safe around you, and gives them back a sense of choice and control over their own body. 

Checking in may feel a bit awkward at first, and if you aren’t used to it, it will take some practice. That's okay! The more you do it, the more confident you’ll feel, and the easier it will become. Here’s some things you might say:

• “Can I give you a hug?”
• “Is it cool if I borrow this for a sec?”
• “Your tag is sticking out. Do you want me to fix it for you?”

Many people unintentionally skip over consent with people with disability, often because of long-standing social attitudes and limited awareness. Well-meaning actions — like offering help or touching mobility aids — can cross boundaries or feel dismissive. Asking first shows respect and supports autonomy. For example:

• “Would you like a hand up this flight of stepsor prefer I wait? If you’d like a hand, let me know the best way to do so.”

Checking in before trauma-dumping or venting 

Conversations around consent tend to focus on the physical, but it also applies to conversations and emotional sharing. Whether you’re about to vent, ask for advice, or bring up something heavy, checking first whether another person is in the right headspace to listen and support shows respect for their emotional boundaries.

Here’s what you might say before venting or asking for advice:

• “I’ve had a rough day and need to vent. Do you have energy to chat about it now?”
• “Hey, I’d love your thoughts on something. Are you in the right mood for that?”

Everyday consent matters online, too

When it comes to online spaces, consent and boundaries can be murkier to navigate, especially given how normal it is to share a photo of a date in a group chat or tag a mate in an unflattering pic.

Digital consent means simply checking in before sharing, tagging, or posting anything that involves someone else, especially when it could be something personal. Consent is revocable (can be reversed or cancelled) too, meaning if someone asks you to delete something, you need to respect that.

Drawing boundaries with friends 

Consent is all about respecting that other people are entitled to make their own choices about what's best for them. It’s their body, their space, and their call. It also means you can’t assume what they want, no matter how close you are with them. And it’s just as important to remember that your choices, boundaries, and comfort matter too. 

Say you’ve had the worst day, and all you want to do is couch-rot with a comfort show and a bag of chips. Your best friend calls, wanting to unload about her breakup, but you don’t have it in you to listen to a vent or offer emotional support. Because we all want to be there for our friends, it can be hard to turn away from an opportunity to support them. Some of the ways you can communicate your emotional boundaries are:

• “Hey, is it okay if we talk about this later? I’m not in the headspace at the moment.”
• “I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It's really important that I'm fully present, but right now I'm pretty wiped. I’ll be more available to be there for you later on.”

So, you’ve violated someone’s consent and want to apologise

Say that you’ve accidentally misread a situation — you post a picture of a friend and they immediately want it taken down, or you go to hug someone who doesn’t reciprocate and they look uncomfortable. 

Sometimes you’ll get it wrong. We’re all human and we all make mistakes. What matters is how you respond and what you do next. Owning your mistakes, listening without getting defensive, and showing a genuine willingness to learn will benefit everyone in the long run. It makes other people feel safe and heard.   

If someone tells you directly that you’ve crossed a boundary, apologising and thanking them for being honest is a great first step:

• “I’m really sorry, I didn’t realise that made you feel uncomfortable. Thank you for letting me know, I'll make sure that it doesn’t happen again.”

If you realise that you’ve crossed a boundary, but they haven’t said anything, it may feel awkward to raise. Here is an example of one way you can:

• "Hey, I’ve been thinking about what I said/did earlier, and I think I may have overstepped. I’m really sorry. I can see how that isn’t okay and am happy for you to let me know how you feel. Is there anything I can do to make amends?”

Consent is a mindset that goes beyond physical and intimate situations. 

By practising consent in everyday interactions, we not only help prevent harm, but we also create a space to build more honest, kind, and supportive relationships with everyone in our lives. 

Check out our mini documentary to get confident practising consent in more intimate situations: