The following testimonies were sent to Teach Us Consent by those who passionately believe that inadequate consent education is reason for their sexual abuse during or soon after school. Please note dates are the graduating years. Victims and perpetrators will remain anonymous.
Trigger warning: sexual assault
1800 Respect national helpline 1800 737 732
Lifeline 24 hour crisis line 131 114
Beyond Blue 1300 224 636
I was in year 8 and came from a pretty strict household so i never had a boyfriend (or any real friends that were boys), never kissed a guy let alone went any further.
My friends group had been invited to a guys house in Double Bay for a 16th birthday party. I begged my parents to let me go. I didn’t tell them it was a boys house and I didn’t tell them it was a 16th birthday because I knew they wouldn’t let me go. I told them that it was my friends birthday and that it was during the day, her parents would be there and, if there were boys, they would be her brother’s friends. I finally convinced my dad to let me go and organised a friend to pick me up so my parents wouldn’t see where I was going. It was during the day but I didn’t know if parents were going to be there or not.
My friend’s mum picked us up and dropped us off at the party. There were a lot of guys there, mainly from Cranbrook. All the guys were older than, probably 16+. Our group was one of the youngest. We were invited because the guys younger sister knew my friend. There was alcohol at the party but I didn’t have any. At one point, my friend and I were invited to play a game with some other boys, similar to piggy in the middle, where if you lost control of the ball, you had to take your clothes off. I didn’t really want to play but they said it was all a bit of fun and there wouldn’t actually be any real stripping, underwear at most. My friend wanted to play so I said yes. It was her, I and one other girl who was probably our age. there were 5 guys, all of whom looked like they were 16 or older. We went out the back yard and down towards the end of the yard, behind a garden plantation, so it wasn’t open, somewhat closed off.
We started playing and the game seemed so easy, the girls were winning and the boys kept loosing the ball and were taking their shoes off then their socks. Before no time, the guys were down to the boxers and all i had to take off was my shoes. Then one after the other, the guys lost the ball (looking back, they did this on purpose) and started taking off their underwear. I’d never seen anybody naked so I was really uncomfortable and I could tell my friend was too. We tried to make excuses and leave but they were saying that we had seen them naked so they deserved a chance to win back some clothes or make us lose ours. They then started playing better and were rubbing up against the girls when passing us. I could see that most of them, at this time, had erections which they were rubbing to make harder. They would stand close while poking us with their penises. We also started losing so they started insisting we take off our clothes as well. I had on jeans, a top and singlet and underwear. In about 2 minutes I was down to my jeans any bra. When I lost again, I said I didn’t want to play. This is when one of the guys game up behind me and unbuttoned my jeans and pulled down the jeans and underwear. He then cupped is hands around my chest and pressed up against me and started grinding on me while I had no underwear on. two of the guys then came over and pulled of my bra and started touching me. They then sort of circled around me and started masturbating while the guys still held on to me touching me everywhere. I was so scared, I didn’t know what to do. I just dropped onto the grass. the guy stood above me and finished wanking off and a bit of cum fell on my legs. the others stopped also but I don’t know if they too came. I then put my clothes on and looked for my friend but she wasn’t there. I couldn’t tell anyone otherwise my parents would know so I have said nothing since.
Turns out when they started taking my clothes off, my friend left but didn’t bother telling anyone what was going on. We are no longer friends.
For about 6 months after, i would get photos of guys dick pick sent to my phone. I didn’t know any of the numbers but I would get 4 or 5 a day with comments about me liking cock and wanting to know if I wanted to suck them. I was so scared that my parents would find the messages that I threw my phone away and asked my parents for a new number, saying that my older number kept getting virus messages.
To this day, I haven’t been able to trust guys and cannot go on a date. I don’t know how this is going to effect me going forward.
The times I’ve been either assaulted or coerced sexually have ALWAYS, without fail, been with private school boys.
I am currently going to Waverley College, and I realise that the school is actually being very active in trying to get the boys to realise that respect for women is paramount and that sexual assault is not ok. But this isn’t changing the way that lots of boys think about girls, and I don’t even know if education in a classroom and detailed talks on assemblies will change these boys’ minds because they just brush it off, turn to their mates and say ‘oi, look at this fit chick’s instagram, I bet you i could fuck her’
I was at a friends dads 50th birthday and her brothers friend kept hitting on me. I was very clear I wasn’t interested – he took my rudeness towards him as “playing hard to get”. I genuinely wasn’t interested in him and being polite to him wasn’t working so I decided to be rude so that he would leave me alone. I went to sleep on the couch that night. He followed me in there shortly after and started taking my clothes off without my consent. I told him repeatedly to stop, gave him all the reasons under the sun as to why I didn’t want it. He didn’t care or listen. I ended up just freezing I was so scared I didn’t know what to do. He raped me. I cried the whole time. I did not give consent.
I was at a friends dads 50th birthday and her brothers friend kept hitting on me. I was very clear I wasn’t interested – he took my rudeness towards him as “playing hard to get”. I genuinely wasn’t interested in him and being polite to him wasn’t working so I decided to be rude so that he would leave me alone. I went to sleep on the couch that night. He followed me in there shortly after and started taking my clothes off without my consent. I told him repeatedly to stop, gave him all the reasons under the sun as to why I didn’t want it. He didn’t care or listen. I ended up just freezing I was so scared I didn’t know what to do. He raped me. I cried the whole time. I did not give consent.
I reckon sexual assault is a serious offense
I was around 22, I had joust broken up with my boyfriend and was staying the night at my (supposed) close male friends house. He lived with his mum and I had stayed over many times before, we slept in the same bed always and nothing happened so I thought I was safe. But This one particular night I woke up to him rubbing my vagina. I froze. I tried to roll over and pretend I was waking up to make him stop. But he didn’t. I lay there frozen while he rubbed my vagina for about 10 minutes and then stopped. I left the following morning pretending like I was fine because I didn’t know how to handle the situation. I have never spoken to him again and I moved towns.
One of my close friends was raped by a St Augustines Boy. Going to the police with her was the most heart breaking thing. She couldn’t move and the PTSD she has is insane, the sad thing about it is he is still walking around free with not a worry in the world while she has to live with it the rest of her life
At augustines graduated 2019. He wouldn’t take no for an answer, I told him no multiple times, over text and in person but one night he wouldn’t let it go. After 30 mins of being coerced, despite my persistent answers of no, I realised he wasn’t ever going to stop and I wasn’t ever going to get out of the situation so I gave in.
ADD YOUR
TESTIMONY