A movement founded
by activist Chanel Contos lobbying for and providing holistic consent and
sexuality education.
A movement founded
by activist Chanel Contos lobbying for and providing holistic consent and
sexuality education.
Read all testimonies

The following testimonies were sent to Teach Us Consent by those who passionately believe that inadequate consent education is reason for their sexual abuse during or soon after school. Please note dates are the graduating years. Victims and perpetrators will remain anonymous.

Trigger warning: sexual assault
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Bayside College
I was 14 and at school, it was fun for some students to go to the music room during lunch breaks. I was in a room with around 90% of the students inside being males. I was standing and playing the piano and then the most popular guy there (not because of how nice he was) slapped and groped my ass in front of everybody. What did they all do? Laughed. Cheered him on. They all wanted a turn.
2021 click to read
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Bayside College - 2021

I was 14 and at school, it was fun for some students to go to the music room during lunch breaks. I was in a room with around 90% of the students inside being males. I was standing and playing the piano and then the most popular guy there (not because of how nice he was) slapped and groped my ass in front of everybody. What did they all do? Laughed. Cheered him on. They all wanted a turn.

Loreto Toorak
I was 15 and with my first boyfriend, I was a virgin (never had penetrative sex). We had talked about having sex and I had expressed I was open to it in the future but not ready yet. I said I didn't want to have sex that day because it was much too early, too soon and it didn�t feel special at all. That same night he pressured me into having sex with him, was so relentless about it that it was easier to just do it than not and continue facing the harassment . I said no 10-15 times until giving in. I felt like he was entitled to me as his girlfriend and that I owed him something. I now realise this situation was extremely manipulated and he completely disregarded my consent, and that this was actually a form of sexual assault.
2017 click to read
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Loreto Toorak - 2017

I was 15 and with my first boyfriend, I was a virgin (never had penetrative sex). We had talked about having sex and I had expressed I was open to it in the future but not ready yet. I said I didn’t want to have sex that day because it was much too early, too soon and it didn’t feel special at all. That same night he pressured me into having sex with him, was so relentless about it that it was easier to just do it than not and continue facing the harassment . I said no 10-15 times until giving in. I felt like he was entitled to me as his girlfriend and that I owed him something. I now realise this situation was extremely manipulated and he completely disregarded my consent, and that this was actually a form of sexual assault.

Barker
I started seeing a boy 2 years older than me. On my 18th birthday he picked me up from my dinner and drove us into a secluded car park and asked for sex, I told him I didn't want to and that I wanted to go see our friends. He immediately had a go at me and said 'what a waste of time picking you up. Clearly you don't like me or you'd do this for me'. This was a continuous cycle of manipulation and guilt tripping. A few years on and I can't believe I wasn't aware of how wrong it was.
2016 click to read
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Barker - 2016

I started seeing a boy 2 years older than me. On my 18th birthday he picked me up from my dinner and drove us into a secluded car park and asked for sex, I told him I didn’t want to and that I wanted to go see our friends. He immediately had a go at me and said ‘what a waste of time picking you up. Clearly you don’t like me or you’d do this for me’. This was a continuous cycle of manipulation and guilt tripping. A few years on and I can’t believe I wasn’t aware of how wrong it was.

Cairns State High School
My friend was at a party with another kid from our school when she pretended to be asleep to avoid sex. He then proceeded to continue to try and have sex with her regardless of the fact he thought he had passed out, it was simply lucky that something else happened that pulled him away from this situation. But she had to continue school with him for 2 more years knowing he was intending to rape her
2014 click to read
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Cairns State High School - 2014

My friend was at a party with another kid from our school when she pretended to be asleep to avoid sex. He then proceeded to continue to try and have sex with her regardless of the fact he thought he had passed out, it was simply lucky that something else happened that pulled him away from this situation. But she had to continue school with him for 2 more years knowing he was intending to rape her

Southern Highlands Christian School
The above school I attended from year 7-12. During sex education lessons the girls where separated from the boys, the extent that the conversation went into practicing safe sex was 'keep a 20c coin between your knees' other than this the lessons were only based on the reproductive organs. This same school had an incredible disgusting view in women and sex. The maths teacher in year 8 (I was in sports uniform skirt above knee - standard uniform) this teacher held me back from class and requested me to sit up on the desk of which he was in his chair, I refused he asked again and I rescued I was then sent to the principals office to be reprimanded. At a high school party event later on maybe year 12, I was kissing a boy who went to the same school. This boy took my clothes off of which I was okay with, we started to have intercourse and I changed my mind, I said no around five or six times and was ignored. This boys older cousin then walked in the room and watched whilst the boy told him that my tits were the best he had seen. I remember staying quiet and not speaking after I said no, I didn't attempt to push him off but was just laying there not knowing what to do after all I had gone as far as I had and then said no, I didn't even really understand this was bad. I later told my friends who told others at the school which my friends supported me and I kind of realised how bad it was. I now know at the age of 31 that this is rape. I didn't know back then, I was told to keep a 20c coin between my legs, this was my fault and that is what the school taught. I stand with you and I fight for US.
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Southern Highlands Christian School -

The above school I attended from year 7-12.
During sex education lessons the girls where separated from the boys, the extent that the conversation went into practicing safe sex was ‘keep a 20c coin between your knees’ other than this the lessons were only based on the reproductive organs.
This same school had an incredible disgusting view in women and sex. The maths teacher in year 8 (I was in sports uniform skirt above knee – standard uniform) this teacher held me back from class and requested me to sit up on the desk of which he was in his chair, I refused he asked again and I rescued I was then sent to the principals office to be reprimanded.

At a high school party event later on maybe year 12, I was kissing a boy who went to the same school. This boy took my clothes off of which I was okay with, we started to have intercourse and I changed my mind, I said no around five or six times and was ignored. This boys older cousin then walked in the room and watched whilst the boy told him that my tits were the best he had seen. I remember staying quiet and not speaking after I said no, I didn’t attempt to push him off but was just laying there not knowing what to do after all I had gone as far as I had and then said no, I didn’t even really understand this was bad. I later told my friends who told others at the school which my friends supported me and I kind of realised how bad it was. I now know at the age of 31 that this is rape. I didn’t know back then, I was told to keep a 20c coin between my legs, this was my fault and that is what the school taught.

I stand with you and I fight for US.

SCEGGS Darlinghurst
When I was in year 9 (14 yo) a Sydney Grammar boy (that used to come over to my house to hang out as friends) came into my house and kept banging on the bathroom door as I showered. When I went to change in my bedroom he walked in as I was getting dressed after I told him not to come in. He came into my room and kept trying to kiss me even though I was extremely uncomfortable as I was not dressed properly and didn't know that he was going to be there. As we were in my bedroom I didn't know how to leave the situation without kicking him out of my house. I didn't know how to communicate I was uncomfortable as I didn't have the language to understand why what he was doing was wrong. A few months later as we were hugging goodbye he unclipped my bra as he hugged me. At the time I never saw these incidents as non-consensual, but with the benefit of hindsight I have realised that these types of coercive behaviours form the basis for more serious crimes such as sexual assault and rape. In both of these incidents, the behaviour could have escalated to something more serious, and in other situations this type of behaviour did. As a teenager I was non-consensually groped, kissed and touched numerous times and was also sexually assaulted on a number of occasions. Furthermore, the majority of my friends have been sexually assaulted either during or post high school. A lot of us didn't have the tools to even process what happened until into our 20s. I don't believe that these incidents are isolated to private schools or single-sex schools. However, I think that improving sex education across the board as well as starting sex education at a younger age would help people recognise when they are in situations which are not okay and non-consensual and give them the tools to stop it at the time or speak out about it later. SCEGGS 2015
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SCEGGS Darlinghurst -

When I was in year 9 (14 yo) a Sydney Grammar boy (that used to come over to my house to hang out as friends) came into my house and kept banging on the bathroom door as I showered. When I went to change in my bedroom he walked in as I was getting dressed after I told him not to come in. He came into my room and kept trying to kiss me even though I was extremely uncomfortable as I was not dressed properly and didn’t know that he was going to be there. As we were in my bedroom I didn’t know how to leave the situation without kicking him out of my house. I didn’t know how to communicate I was uncomfortable as I didn’t have the language to understand why what he was doing was wrong.

A few months later as we were hugging goodbye he unclipped my bra as he hugged me. At the time I never saw these incidents as non-consensual, but with the benefit of hindsight I have realised that these types of coercive behaviours form the basis for more serious crimes such as sexual assault and rape. In both of these incidents, the behaviour could have escalated to something more serious, and in other situations this type of behaviour did.

As a teenager I was non-consensually groped, kissed and touched numerous times and was also sexually assaulted on a number of occasions. Furthermore, the majority of my friends have been sexually assaulted either during or post high school. A lot of us didn’t have the tools to even process what happened until into our 20s.

I don’t believe that these incidents are isolated to private schools or single-sex schools. However, I think that improving sex education across the board as well as starting sex education at a younger age would help people recognise when they are in situations which are not okay and non-consensual and give them the tools to stop it at the time or speak out about it later.

SCEGGS 2015

Scots
Soon after final exams, a girl and I had had consensual sex the night before and we ended up in a room together the next night. We were both drunk. Because we had already had sex, I guess it was my expectation that we could have sex again. When she said she didn't really want to, I pleaded with her until she said yes. We had sex and even though she had said yes it was because I had coerced her. Since then, my education about consent has come a very long way and that incident has haunted me. I still haven't apologised to the girl but have been planning on it for a long time. I don't want to call myself a rapist because I believe I am a good person, but I think the lack of education on consent plays a major role in putting young men and women in these positions because they are so naive about reality.
2016 click to read
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Scots - 2016

Soon after final exams, a girl and I had had consensual sex the night before and we ended up in a room together the next night. We were both drunk. Because we had already had sex, I guess it was my expectation that we could have sex again. When she said she didn’t really want to, I pleaded with her until she said yes. We had sex and even though she had said yes it was because I had coerced her. Since then, my education about consent has come a very long way and that incident has haunted me. I still haven’t apologised to the girl but have been planning on it for a long time. I don’t want to call myself a rapist because I believe I am a good person, but I think the lack of education on consent plays a major role in putting young men and women in these positions because they are so naive about reality.

Maroochydore High
There were multiple cases of boys taking photos up girls skirts and even attaching mirrors to their shoes to do this. It was very common for boys to punch girls boobs/nipples and slap their bums/pull up their skirts. There was no punishment for these boys.
2013 click to read
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Maroochydore High - 2013

There were multiple cases of boys taking photos up girls skirts and even attaching mirrors to their shoes to do this. It was very common for boys to punch girls boobs/nipples and slap their bums/pull up their skirts. There was no punishment for these boys.

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